Bloodlust

Today just finish my very first exam of the year, feel like doing not so well, didn't have much confident on it also, but not much things I can change the fact already, already over and I had try my best.

Well, as far I can said is, I was having a couple of nice weeks together with her, full of laughter and joy, feels like the relationship getting better and better as a friend, even though I have no confident at all of success for getting her to accept me as her bf, due to some reason that I had suffered from past years, due to the reason that maybe I am too needed her to be by my side, and yet she had done it, always supporting me take good care of me,and mostly of all due to the reason that I too love her until once again, the shadow of fear and scare all come out at once.

Now, I really don't know what to do at all, I had told her everything that I felt inside my heart, even the negative side of me, and yet she still so calm and nicely treated me, telling me that nothing will happen. I really feel so glad to know her from the beginning. An answer to resolve all of this going to come soon, always take a deep breath after thinking of that, feared of the answer possible? or maybe I scared that leaving you? Wondering eagerly.

I also feel that I am silly, but then, I just thought out myself, and to everyone out there, no matter what the outcome of this relationship, good or bad, I wont ever chase another girl already. I really getting tired of realizing things growing surround me, I just want to concentrate on only you and my studies. To tell the truth, even she was shocked by me, she thought that she was the one effecting me to make this decision, but no. Not you, everything just lead to something that I had suffered before from the past, effecting me very badly. I have lost a lot of trust due to the things that I had made last time. I lost all of my self believe that I will make it to the end without any help.

To tell the truth, Xiao Jin, some of your words very warms me up, feels like being so close with you, I respect all the things that you had done while we are together, spending a lot of time being together although we are not couples, studying together, appreciate well. Although got one day you told me the truth of yourself, I was very glad that you could tell me that, and some of it lead to a painful session to you and to me also, so happy that we two can communicated well. I can get over it very fast, because hurting is the main thing I suffered most of the time, and now passing time with you, really comfort, Xiao Jin, I do really hope that you one day will accept me and live together with promises and everlasting.

Life great at here right now, having the second exam soon, HD I am coming for you, work hard to get it, to all of you out there, just good luck on your exams and take care yourself.